Thoughts on 9/11

It was my senior year of high school; I was 2 days shy of turning 17. We had something called “adjusted Tuesdays,” which meant we went to school and seminary an hour later than the rest of the week. So that morning, my clock radio alarm flipped on at around 6 a.m. blaring news that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. I thought I was having a nightmare at first, but when I realized it was true I jumped out of bed and ran into my parents’ room to tell them. I was already crying and shaking at that point (I’ve never been very composed during the delivery of bad news). We hurried to the family room and were glued to the TV the whole day. I didn’t go to seminary or school. My dad was soon told to not come in to work (at the Bank of America building in SF, a rumored potential target). I thought this was the beginning of the end of the world.

The following day at school a few of my peers asked me where I was the day before, and I told them I stayed home to watch the news. I remember some of their reactions seemed a little bit confused—almost judgmental that I would miss school over it—and I remember thinking that wow, they had no idea what a big deal this was… they just didn’t seem to get it. But in the days following I think it really sunk in. For everyone.

Though my connection to New York City is relatively small (I lived there when I was 11 and have visited a few times since), it broke my heart to watch the events unfold. At the time, NYC had been the only other place I’d ever called home besides Danville. I’d been to the twin towers numerous times and had warily looked out the windows from the observatory at the top of tower two. These experiences made the attacks feel very real and—even from across the country—very close to home.

Today I’ve been thinking constantly about how fortunate I am to not have been as deeply affected by the tragedy of 9/11 as so many others have. They don’t have the luxury of thinking about it only a few times a year; they are reminded every day of their loss and sacrifice. I, on the other hand, can pretty much decide how heavily I want to engage my thoughts and analyze the events of that Tuesday morning, and when I don’t want to feel the dark emotions anymore I can easily distract myself with something lighthearted and carefree.

My heart goes out to those who have to endure the painful memories and effects of September 11, 2001. They inspire me to not take any blessing I have for granted.